My most vivid memories, among many, of Michael my son-in-law, are our frequent drives together.
The first time I met Michael he needed to get from Peterborough to Ottawa, and as I was going that way he hitched a lift. I do not remember what car I was driving in those days but it must have been a Honda!! I also think he knew Kirsty slightly from Carleton University but they were not yet “an item”.
I remember the drive as being interesting and passing quickly as our conversation ranged far and wide over many topics. It was somewhat akin to those conversations one has on an airplane with a seatmate you never expect to see again. There are no barriers as to what subjects or opinions are expressed. What we talked about has, of course, completely disappeared from memory, and I dropped Michael off on Bank Street and continue on my way.
Sometime later Kirsty and I had a vague plan to go and see the fall colours in Gatineau Park and Kirsty asked if she could bring a friend along. This friend turned out to be Michael and we were pleased to remember our former ride together. I have a lovely picture of them both together sitting on a wall with the trees behind during our outing.
As Kirsty and Michael became more and more serious about each other he came for supper and I got to know him a bit better. He was a Peterborough boy and my daughters and he had a lot of acquaintances in common. Two of Michael’s sisters still lived there. Michael has said he really likes Ottawa and feels it is his place in Canada, but the small town background and the place of one’s youth still seems to have a pull.
When they moved in together on River Road they lived in the top flat of an older home looking out on the park beside the Rideau River. The street then was not busy and you could feel quite countrified, even although you were in the middle of the city.
I visited often for supper as my house was not far away.
The park in front was where they were married…. Twenty seven years ago! That was a great party! A tent in the backyard, lots of food and all the people living around sitting on their porches listening to the music. It was definitely a memorable family happening.
Next they lived on Bank Street where I think Michael had lived before. It was very old but spacious, above an Art Supply Store. It was right in the middle of downtown so they were never far from the action. It always impressed me how both of them were known in the neighborhood, but especially Michael. I know some street people waited to see him and he never missed giving them a handout.
When they finally moved out and bought a house I was so happy that it was in my neighborhood. I would visit, often for supper and sometime we ate in the garden if the bugs were not too annoying. Michael made wonderful meals on the barbecue and I have an old photo of them laying paving stoned for a pathway. In the spring the bulbs in the front beds made a wonderful show. They also made a nice meal for the local squirrels!!
During this period Michael talked about going back to school to finish up his degree. I did so empathize as I myself had gone back to school at age fifty to do a Masters in Social Work. I had really enjoyed my time at Carleton and felt a real sense of accomplishment at completing a degree after such a long hiatus. So when Michael enrolled I often drove him out to lectures and we resumed our long ago driving conversations. Like me, he graduated and felt that he had completed some unfinished business.
On and off since then we have had drives to all sorts of destinations. They have all been in the now very ancient Honda that I bought new in 1991 (I think). It is still going, said to be on its last legs…….. and a real banger.
We call it The Green Hornet, Or Bessie or all sorts of other names. When we climb in we often tap her dashboard and thank her for keeping going. I have no idea now how many miles there are on the dial, but it must be well over 300,000Km.
When I moved into the retirement residence in 2015 the car became Kirsty and Michael’s, although we kept up the fiction that they were occasional drivers! The expectation was that it was on its last legs and they would drive it till it died. Well…….it is still going although only around town to do the groceries or whatever.
In the last five years Michael has driven me to so many appointments and visits. We have been to doctors and dentists without number. As I have become more and more impaired he has patiently helped me navigate sidewalks and snow piles and doorways.
Taking me anywhere nowadays tends to be somewhat of a route march, but Michael is so patient with my fumbling and groans! And.. we still have our conversations. This is especially the case when we go to Barrhaven, better known as Farhaven,to visit one of my friends.It is a good half hour drive and we talk as usual about everything and nothing. He asks if I know what record he is playing… I never recognize any of the disks. He lights up a special cigarette and opens the window a crack to let out the smell. Actually I was beginning to like the tang. As always, if at a stop sign there is someone needing a handout Michael will give change, of failing that one of his roll your own cigarettes. What progress we have made in that now you can smoke weed and not be breaking the law!
I even have conversations now about how well the plants are growing and when they will be ready for harvesting!
There are all sorts of other stories to tell but The Honda and the drives in all sorts of weather and the conversations during them have been some of the connecting links in my long association with Michael. They are some of my best memories.
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