When Birgit, my eldest daughter, was about a year old I decided to go to Sweden for a short time with my husband. He was being sent by his work to explore some of the institutions for adolescent delinquents run by the Swedish Government. I planned to leave our daughter in the care of my parents, and follow him for a short holiday after his visits were over.
Looking back, I seem to have been oblivious to the fact that neither of my parents had any real practical experience with babies! My mother always had Nannies who did most of the hands on care. Somehow, I must have believed she had acquired some skills along the way. To give her due credit she rose to the occasion and said she would be delighted to mind Birgit for a couple of weeks.
I remember setting off from Hull in a regular passenger boat called the S.S. Venus…… better known as the, ”Vomiting Venus” because of how much she pitched about as she crossed the North Sea. On this voyage she lived up to her name although I am not sure if it was the pitching or a beginning pregnancy that made me so seasick.
We had an interesting time in Upsalla and a staff member at the university lent us their apartment for our stay. We had many adventures, stuff for another story, and I arrived back in Dunoon rested and looking forward to seeing my little daughter.
Everyone was on the pier at Dunoon Quay as I got off the ferry from Gourock. Birgit was in Ella’s arms and taking an interest in all the busy people around her. When I put out my arms to take her she resisted and turned her head! “Who was this strange lady?”
I had enough sense not to push my luck and we proceeded homewards. Of course I had brought presents for her and we settled in with a quick drink and lots of chat. As I took the presents out of their bag I rustled the paper. Birgit perked up, rose to her feet and made a bee line for me. She had not been walking before I left, and was still not very steady on her feet. As she reached me, I think it suddenly dawned on her who I was. We opened the presents together and she sat happily on my knee and went to sleep I was really glad she seemed not to have forgotten me!
In the few days I spent with my parents, before Stephen came to take us home, I was regaled with all sorts of stories about Birgit’s stay. Although my father liked to portray himself as particularly inept at domestic work he was assigned to feed Birgit while my mother finished making supper. Birgit had a small folding chair which they put on an old shower curtain to catch the mess and he did his best to get some of the food where it was meant to go! The little dog, with a Gaelic name which I cannot spell, hovered close waiting to pounce on any fallen crumb! My father insisted that very little of the food was actually eaten, so much of it landed on the floor .However Birgit gained weight while with my parents so he must have been more successful than he thought!
While Birgit was there a friend of my mother’s came to stay. I think her name was Vera and they had met while on a ski holiday in Switzerland. She lived with her elderly mother in New York and worked as a child psychiatrist there. They had both survived a concentration camp, mostly by Vera becoming very adept at stealing food.
She was fascinated by Birgit and followed her around with a camera making note of her developing skills .At one point she and mother were in deep conversation and suddenly found that the baby was nowhere in sight. She did not seem to be anywhere on the main floor! They found her at the top of the stairs, having followed the dog as she tried to escape! She had never even tried the stairs before so this was quite a feat. They were careful if she seemed to go there again to place someone strategically at the bottom of the flight.
Looking back I realize how much I took for granted having a healthy intelligent child. Thinking of Vera now, she must have probably wanted a child of her own. The ordinary expectations of life had been snatched from her so cruelly. Yet she cared for her elderly mother and continued to contribute to her community and enjoy friendships and travel and an interesting career. Human beings are indeed remarkable creatures
I never saw Vera again but I know my mother kept in touch as she did with many people over the years. It is remarkable to me now how throughout the war and beyond she managed to keep in touch with prewar friends, and visit them too after the war.
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